Signature Piece

I was supposed to be a princess..
Somebody fucked up.
I was supposed to be a princess,
Drinking from goblets and not…
Red plastic cups.
Chores are so consuming,
I really need some staff.
Excuse me are you smiling?
I am serious, don't laugh!

I was supposed to be a princess
with a Queendom at my feet.
I was supposed to be a princess
reigning with grace and majesty.
Doing my own laundry seems horribly mundane,
being forced to cook for myself is perfectly insane.

I was supposed to be princess
Are you listening to me?
I was supposed to be a princess
My every word a decree.
Shoveling my car out, should be someone else's job.
I need some staff to clean my room, it seems, I am
a slob!


I was supposed to be a princess
With suitors catering to my every whim
I was supposed to be a princess
Would you please STOP laughing?
When you see me pumping gas, doesn't it seem
wrong?
I should have an entourage and my very own
theme song!

I was supposed to be a princess
This life is a crime.
I was supposed to be a princess
No everything's not fine!
There doesn't seem to be a single prince in sight.
Shit who am I kidding I can't even spot a knight!


I was supposed to be a princess
Somebody fucked up!
So many things that just seem wrong
Like working, really sucks!
A harem of designers should be sweating me.
Anyone with ambition wants to dress the future
queen.
Are you listening to me?
I AM her royal magesty!


I was supposed to be a princess
I would rule with empathy
I would be a humble leader
My subjects would worship me
Why do I have to make my bed
Or ever worry my pretty little head?
I would be fabulously attired
I would be universally admired…


I was supposed to be a princess and…
"HUH! HUH! WHAT? The toilet's clogged?"
I was supposed to be a princess
That should be someone else's job
But big sigh I have no staff
And I can hear your stupid laugh.
Guess I have to get the plunger,
Yet I'll always have to wonder…


I was supposed to be a princess
But some fat ass clogged my bowl
So this poem has to end while I go on
Shit patrol!


I was supposed
To be
A
Princess!!!!!!