It's been a long time...

It's been a long time. I shouldn'ta left you without a dope blog to step to. giggles

I miss blogging. I miss it. I miss the release. I miss the interaction with readers. I miss re-reading my life. I miss it. So here I am.

Blogging did more for me than therapy. When I started blogging on myspace I was in a very strange place in my life. I had just ended, what I thought were going to be, lifetime friendships. I'll take most of the blame for it but time has shown me that there is a REASON for everything and I no longer regret ANY of it. I was in an abusive and loveless relationship. I was confused. I was filled with self hate. I was disconnected from my dreams and my destiny. I was clinically depressed and definitely in crisis.

I started out on myspace wanting to share my poetry with people who didn't know me. I wanted to see if strangers would "feel me". I started posting poems with the thought that if no one liked them I could delete my page and learn an important lesson...I suck. LMAO But fortunately for me...not only did I get wonderful feedback, I also met some of the coolest people ever! When I started following their blogs I saw so much openness. I saw myself in so much of what they posted. In supporting some of them I realized I was supporting myself. They challenged me to "do better" and I challenged them right back. It was beautiful and reciprocal and an easy way to test out the person I was becoming. It was reciprocal, entertaining and it was reading and writing. I loved it.

When myspace died...we all migrated to facebook. Blogging was not the same. How could I blog about sex with my Daddy on my page? How could I rant about my family when they might read it? LOL The people who could read weren't strangers anymore and since I was still in the infancy of my new self I didn't know how to do it. I kept posting poetry but I let the blogging go. I never stopped missing it though.

I watched some of my myspace bloggers turn blogging into a full time job. I watched some of them make it profitable. I am so proud of them. I thought about doing it myself a hundred times and every single time I come in to work but I still haven't even tried. LOL I might get it together one day. giggles The thing about those successful blogs is you can't respond to every comment. You can't "know" your readers. It's not intimate. I just watched a favorite blogger of mine come out of the closet. He got thousands and thousands of comments. I know he appreciated them but he couldn't really respond to all of them. I don't know that I could handle that. I like intimacy. I crave it.

So....I am going to try really hard to post here regularly. I'll link the posts to my fb for a while so maybe some of you can follow me. Any time you post a blog...anywhere please drop me a link or an inbox. I like reciprocity. I like idea exchange. I like reading your thoughts and your emotions and your lives.

I'm back.

I promise I'll be more interesting...next time. ;-)

P.S. How come when I type this I have pretty pretty paragraphs and when I hit post it's just one big mess? Grrrr Learning curve.

P.P.S. I fixed it. I sure is proud of me. Giggles