Temporary discomfort

Sometimes when you graduate to another level things are uncomfortable.

Welcome to my present.

I know I am being blessed. I know this discomfort is temporary but it's just so fucking (I will cuss here. You clicked that you were grown when you entered this space) uncomfortable damn it. I know that thoughts are things and if I focus on my discomfort I will get more of it so I turn my thoughts to abundance, peace, comfort, clarity and joy.

But I'm fucking uncomfortable. SHIT!

When I was a little girl and I had to go to the bathroom but there wasn't one available my Mommy and I would play this game. She would start a story and then when she stopped I would have to keep it going. It took my mind off of my discomfort and helped me to hold it until we got to the bathroom.

I'm telling stories...just waiting to get...there.

That's all today.

Really. There is no more.

Why are you still reading? I'm done.

For reals.

Giggles.

Have a great day.

It's been a long time...

It's been a long time. I shouldn'ta left you without a dope blog to step to. giggles

I miss blogging. I miss it. I miss the release. I miss the interaction with readers. I miss re-reading my life. I miss it. So here I am.

Blogging did more for me than therapy. When I started blogging on myspace I was in a very strange place in my life. I had just ended, what I thought were going to be, lifetime friendships. I'll take most of the blame for it but time has shown me that there is a REASON for everything and I no longer regret ANY of it. I was in an abusive and loveless relationship. I was confused. I was filled with self hate. I was disconnected from my dreams and my destiny. I was clinically depressed and definitely in crisis.

I started out on myspace wanting to share my poetry with people who didn't know me. I wanted to see if strangers would "feel me". I started posting poems with the thought that if no one liked them I could delete my page and learn an important lesson...I suck. LMAO But fortunately for me...not only did I get wonderful feedback, I also met some of the coolest people ever! When I started following their blogs I saw so much openness. I saw myself in so much of what they posted. In supporting some of them I realized I was supporting myself. They challenged me to "do better" and I challenged them right back. It was beautiful and reciprocal and an easy way to test out the person I was becoming. It was reciprocal, entertaining and it was reading and writing. I loved it.

When myspace died...we all migrated to facebook. Blogging was not the same. How could I blog about sex with my Daddy on my page? How could I rant about my family when they might read it? LOL The people who could read weren't strangers anymore and since I was still in the infancy of my new self I didn't know how to do it. I kept posting poetry but I let the blogging go. I never stopped missing it though.

I watched some of my myspace bloggers turn blogging into a full time job. I watched some of them make it profitable. I am so proud of them. I thought about doing it myself a hundred times and every single time I come in to work but I still haven't even tried. LOL I might get it together one day. giggles The thing about those successful blogs is you can't respond to every comment. You can't "know" your readers. It's not intimate. I just watched a favorite blogger of mine come out of the closet. He got thousands and thousands of comments. I know he appreciated them but he couldn't really respond to all of them. I don't know that I could handle that. I like intimacy. I crave it.

So....I am going to try really hard to post here regularly. I'll link the posts to my fb for a while so maybe some of you can follow me. Any time you post a blog...anywhere please drop me a link or an inbox. I like reciprocity. I like idea exchange. I like reading your thoughts and your emotions and your lives.

I'm back.

I promise I'll be more interesting...next time. ;-)

P.S. How come when I type this I have pretty pretty paragraphs and when I hit post it's just one big mess? Grrrr Learning curve.

P.P.S. I fixed it. I sure is proud of me. Giggles

I got what you need...giggles

Hello friends both new and old.

When I prayed and hoped and wished to be a writer I thought all I would have to do is write. LOL Silly me.

I finally got the paypal up and running. If you click here you can order the book, The Boogie Down Princess Speaks for $10.00, the CD of me spitting all of the pieces in the book plus a bonus piece for $10.00 or the book and the CD for $15. All of these prices are plus shipping and handling

Purchase Options

Book $10.00 CD $10.00 Book and CD $15.00

I am new at everything but the writing. Walk with me as I grow.

Mad love to every single person who supports my dream. Smooches!

A little about me

Well I guess I should tell you all a little about me huh? LOL

First things first I was supposed to be a princess. Seriously. I was.

I have been blogging since early 2000. I started on askheartbeat.com before blogging was even called blogging. I wonder if that website is even around anymore. Anyway, then I found myspace, met an awesome circle of friends and totally got hooked on blogging.

I have ALWAYS been a writer. Poetry is my oxygen. I write something almost every day. 98 percent of the time I write what I live. This can be tricky as the people in my life are not always the most willing characters in my stories. LOL

I am VERY opinionated but I feel no need to ram my opinions down anyone's throat. I definitely am a non-confrontational woman. I think if we all just respected each other the world would be an awesome place.

I think every single day about the kind of person I want to be and I work towards being her. Sometimes I spend too much time in my head but I can't help it. I am a VERY emotional person but I don't think this is a bad thing. LOL


I am pretty much an open book...if you have any questions please feel free to ask away.

I hope you enjoy reading my madness.

Signature Piece

I was supposed to be a princess..
Somebody fucked up.
I was supposed to be a princess,
Drinking from goblets and not…
Red plastic cups.
Chores are so consuming,
I really need some staff.
Excuse me are you smiling?
I am serious, don't laugh!

I was supposed to be a princess
with a Queendom at my feet.
I was supposed to be a princess
reigning with grace and majesty.
Doing my own laundry seems horribly mundane,
being forced to cook for myself is perfectly insane.

I was supposed to be princess
Are you listening to me?
I was supposed to be a princess
My every word a decree.
Shoveling my car out, should be someone else's job.
I need some staff to clean my room, it seems, I am
a slob!


I was supposed to be a princess
With suitors catering to my every whim
I was supposed to be a princess
Would you please STOP laughing?
When you see me pumping gas, doesn't it seem
wrong?
I should have an entourage and my very own
theme song!

I was supposed to be a princess
This life is a crime.
I was supposed to be a princess
No everything's not fine!
There doesn't seem to be a single prince in sight.
Shit who am I kidding I can't even spot a knight!


I was supposed to be a princess
Somebody fucked up!
So many things that just seem wrong
Like working, really sucks!
A harem of designers should be sweating me.
Anyone with ambition wants to dress the future
queen.
Are you listening to me?
I AM her royal magesty!


I was supposed to be a princess
I would rule with empathy
I would be a humble leader
My subjects would worship me
Why do I have to make my bed
Or ever worry my pretty little head?
I would be fabulously attired
I would be universally admired…


I was supposed to be a princess and…
"HUH! HUH! WHAT? The toilet's clogged?"
I was supposed to be a princess
That should be someone else's job
But big sigh I have no staff
And I can hear your stupid laugh.
Guess I have to get the plunger,
Yet I'll always have to wonder…


I was supposed to be a princess
But some fat ass clogged my bowl
So this poem has to end while I go on
Shit patrol!


I was supposed
To be
A
Princess!!!!!!