Regal Productions

Regal Productions
The Princess Speaks

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Temporary discomfort

Sometimes when you graduate to another level things are uncomfortable.

Welcome to my present.

I know I am being blessed. I know this discomfort is temporary but it's just so fucking (I will cuss here. You clicked that you were grown when you entered this space) uncomfortable damn it. I know that thoughts are things and if I focus on my discomfort I will get more of it so I turn my thoughts to abundance, peace, comfort, clarity and joy.

But I'm fucking uncomfortable. SHIT!

When I was a little girl and I had to go to the bathroom but there wasn't one available my Mommy and I would play this game. She would start a story and then when she stopped I would have to keep it going. It took my mind off of my discomfort and helped me to hold it until we got to the bathroom.

I'm telling stories...just waiting to get...there.

That's all today.

Really. There is no more.

Why are you still reading? I'm done.

For reals.


Have a great day.

Monday, December 10, 2012

It's been a long time...

It's been a long time. I shouldn'ta left you without a dope blog to step to. giggles

I miss blogging. I miss it. I miss the release. I miss the interaction with readers. I miss re-reading my life. I miss it. So here I am.

Blogging did more for me than therapy. When I started blogging on myspace I was in a very strange place in my life. I had just ended, what I thought were going to be, lifetime friendships. I'll take most of the blame for it but time has shown me that there is a REASON for everything and I no longer regret ANY of it. I was in an abusive and loveless relationship. I was confused. I was filled with self hate. I was disconnected from my dreams and my destiny. I was clinically depressed and definitely in crisis.

I started out on myspace wanting to share my poetry with people who didn't know me. I wanted to see if strangers would "feel me". I started posting poems with the thought that if no one liked them I could delete my page and learn an important lesson...I suck. LMAO But fortunately for me...not only did I get wonderful feedback, I also met some of the coolest people ever! When I started following their blogs I saw so much openness. I saw myself in so much of what they posted. In supporting some of them I realized I was supporting myself. They challenged me to "do better" and I challenged them right back. It was beautiful and reciprocal and an easy way to test out the person I was becoming. It was reciprocal, entertaining and it was reading and writing. I loved it.

When myspace died...we all migrated to facebook. Blogging was not the same. How could I blog about sex with my Daddy on my page? How could I rant about my family when they might read it? LOL The people who could read weren't strangers anymore and since I was still in the infancy of my new self I didn't know how to do it. I kept posting poetry but I let the blogging go. I never stopped missing it though.

I watched some of my myspace bloggers turn blogging into a full time job. I watched some of them make it profitable. I am so proud of them. I thought about doing it myself a hundred times and every single time I come in to work but I still haven't even tried. LOL I might get it together one day. giggles The thing about those successful blogs is you can't respond to every comment. You can't "know" your readers. It's not intimate. I just watched a favorite blogger of mine come out of the closet. He got thousands and thousands of comments. I know he appreciated them but he couldn't really respond to all of them. I don't know that I could handle that. I like intimacy. I crave it.

So....I am going to try really hard to post here regularly. I'll link the posts to my fb for a while so maybe some of you can follow me. Any time you post a blog...anywhere please drop me a link or an inbox. I like reciprocity. I like idea exchange. I like reading your thoughts and your emotions and your lives.

I'm back.

I promise I'll be more time. ;-)

P.S. How come when I type this I have pretty pretty paragraphs and when I hit post it's just one big mess? Grrrr Learning curve.

P.P.S. I fixed it. I sure is proud of me. Giggles